Frozen Wasteland

5 February 2010

We had a major snow storm in December, which resulted in snow on our back deck until January.  The snow finally melted, just in time for the next major storm to hit last weekend.  We got 11.5″ of snow.  So now, while we are still digging out from that storm, an ice storm has hit us.

The sounds we hear inside the house are disturbing.  Popping. Crackling. Crunching.  But stepping out onto the porch is downright terrifying.  Our yard looks like a war zone, and it sounds like one, too.  Every time a big branch or tree goes down, it snaps and sounds like gunfire.  The dogs are so frightened they won’t come out of the basement.  I don’t blame them.  I just saw a small branch, a stick, really, fall to the ground. After bouncing back and forth off of a few branches, it broke free from the tree and hurled itself to the ground with dizzying speed.  Had there been any living creature where it landed, it would have impaled them.

Our driveway is an obstacle course, but still navigable.  I have some doubts about it staying that way all night.  We have friends who are prepared to bring a chain saw over and dig us out, but not just yet.  It’s too dangerous for any real clean-up to begin.

Across the street, a smallish branch fell onto one of the power lines, causing some pretty serious sparks and smoke for almost an hour.  It seems to have gone out now.  We still have power, and internet, which amazes me.  I am grateful for that.  Especially since USA Network is starting an NCIS marathon at 6:00 tonight.  Hate to miss out on that!!

Anyway, am posting some pictures.  Since Gaylon got me that wonderful new Canon EOS Rebel Xsi camera for Christmas, I absolutely must document everything that happens around here!  And, while I’m thinking about it:  special thanks to Kyle P. for changing the settings on my site so that I could upload larger files!  The pictures from my new camera are really clear and the files are much larger than my old camera.  My site was set to only allow uploads of 2 mg or less.  Kyle set it so I can upload pretty much any size file now. Yay!

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No More Snow! Please!!

4 February 2010

They are calling for yet another winter storm this weekend.  I think there has been one week since December 18th that we have not had several inches of snow on our back deck.  We had to pay to have the driveway scraped this past weekend (and it was worth every single penny!!).  And now, they are calling for more snow.  Alex is supposed to go snow skiing this weekend with Father Winslow and all of the altar servers from St. John’s. They are going to Sugar Mountain.  Now, it’s looking like that may bet cancelled.  Oh, man, he is going to be miserable to live with if he doesn’t get to go snow skiing. And Faith has Achievement Night for 4-H tomorrow evening, too.  Arrgghh.

I remember as a child fantasizing about snow like this.  As a teenager and young adult I always hoped for snow like this, because it meant the ski slopes would be amazing!  But now, I really can’t find a good reason for it.  It’s cold, it keeps us homebound, and when it finally does melt, it is really muddy!

Snow On Our Back Deck

Snow On Our Back Deck

I’ve made a lot of cracks about Global Warming, and how I think it’s ridiculous.  At this point, I think I might actually clock anyone who tries to tell me that it’s real.

Oh, and one more thing: they are calling for more snow next week, when I go pick Gaylon up in Charlotte at the airport.  I am really praying that it doesn’t happen.

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Freezing Fog???

1 February 2010

Seriously? Freezing fog?? I checked the Weather Channel online and they had a “Severe weather report” regarding Freezing Fog?? Good Grief!!!

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Snowdrops

29 January 2010

We are in the middle of another major winter storm, and have already gotten what looks like about three inches of snow.  They say there is a lot more coming, too.  But, before it started snowing, Faith went across the road to feed our neighbors’ dogs and discovered the most delightful, delicate little flowers. So, she picked one and brought it home. I suggested she put it in water, to see if it would open up, so she did, and it opened almost immediately.

It is such a delicate little thing, and really lovely.  I took some pictures, and wanted to share.  I’d never seen anything like it before.  Lishi told me it was a “Snowdrop”, which I think is the perfect name, since it’s snowing today!  How wonderful of God to create little flowers, just for the snow. I’m impressed!  (I am posting a couple of pics of the snow, too.)

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Global Warming Is Freezing Us!

27 January 2010

A potentially crippling winter storm is expected along I-40 from New Mexico to North Carolina through the weekend.  ~weather.com~  1/27/2010

Yeah.  Just what I wanted to hear.  Our Christmas party was canceled due to a blizzard that left over eight inches of snow on our back deck until the rain finally washed it away about a week ago.  Now they are predicting another storm, which will probably force me to cancel my “Catholic Homeschool Moms Night”.

Frustrating.  Very, very frustrating.

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March For Life 2010

22 January 2010

“Even though you can’t see or hear them at all,
A person’s a person, no matter how small.”
~Dr. Seuss~

Today is the annual March For Life in Washington, D.C., in protest of the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.  I am happy and amazed to report that this is also Alex’s third time to go.  He is passionate about a great many things, but one of the things that he is most passionate is the right to life.

He has traveled to the March with our youth group from St. John the Baptist Church, and one of the most exciting parts of his “pilgrimage” is that he will be attending Mass this morning celebrated by Cardinal Rigali, who was one of the religious leaders who presented the Manhattan Declaration back in November!  Then, Alex will get to serve at the special North Carolina Mass with both Bishop Jugis from our own Diocese of Charlotte and Bishop Burbidge, from the Diocese of Raleigh.

And, of course, he will get to march.  We are still free here in the United States, and we can still protest peacefully.  I am so proud of my son that he wants to participate and make his voice known, because the smallest members of our society cannot yet fight for themselves.

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Yes We Did!

19 January 2010

WooHoo!!!!  Coakley conceded, and R-E-P-U-B-L-I-C-A-N Scott Brown took over Ted Kennedy’s seat in the Senate!  It is almost too good to be true. . . I feel like I am dreaming . . .

America *is* still awake!  We are fighting back!!  Oh, I hope all those other Senators and Representatives are absolutely quaking in their boots up in their little ivory towers.  What a powerful message the voters of Massachusetts have sent tonight!  And just in time for the March For Life in D.C. this Friday (which Obama will undoubtedly ignore, since it opposes his culture of death).

Oh, I am so happy, and finally, just a tiny bit hopeful.

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Craziness

12 January 2010

I am a headline news reader.  I rarely bother to read the whole story unless the headline really, really grabs me.  I think I am, sadly, typical.  But in my defense, I have to say that the headlines have been screaming doom and devastation for so long that it’s very difficult for me to summon up the courage to look past them, into the actual articles.

Tonight’s headlines on Yahoo! illustrate my point perfectly:

Haiti hit by largest earthquake in over 200 years

AP sources: Employer health mandate may be dropped
AP Exclusive: Obama wants $33 billion more for war
Cold weather and growing sales mock death of fur

Okay, I actually read the article about the earthquake in Haiti.  Those poor, poor people!  As if their very existence was not suffering enough.  My heart goes out to them.

The healthcare thing has begun to sound like a permanent droning in my ears. “Obama” wants this and that (yet they keep showing pictures of Pelosi. . . ewwww) and they keep changing their minds.  At first, I was really concerned.  Now I’m beginning to think they’re going to carry on for years, and accomplish nothing.

Obama wants more for the war.  Of course he does.  He totally lied about getting our military home.  Change?  Yeah. Sure.

Now, the “death of fur” thing is funny to me.  All of those self-righteous people who condemned others for wearing fur must have forgotten about how furs were one of the key ingredients to surviving  winters all over the globe throughout history.  And, when people get really cold, they want what works best.

So, I’ve come to the conclusion, yet again, that the world has gone mad.  I just hope everybody else can see it, too.  Sometimes it gets a little old being the only one to proclaim that the emperor has no clothes!

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Sickness

7 January 2010

I have been running a relatively high fever since Sunday evening.  And, pretty much, that is my one and only symptom.  So, I did break down and call the doctor’s office, but haven’t heard back from them yet.  Maybe they can get me in tomorrow.  I just feel rotten, and am so ready to feel at least “human” again.

In other news, Faith’s cat went into heat, and that was a very disturbing ordeal.  Mom and Faith took her to be spayed this morning, and Dr. Angel allowed Faith to sit in the OR while she performed the operation.  Faith was apparently quite fascinated, which doesn’t surprise me.  She watches all that stuff on Animal Planet that is definitely NOT for the faint of heart.  Or me.

Because I haven’t really felt well enough to do anything else, I’ve been doing a lot of crocheting, and playing on the internet. You might notice that I put ‘widgets’ on my blog for Facebook and Twitter.  I am not a huge Twitter fan, but I learned over New Year’s that companies “Tweet” things like discounts, specials, and even job postings.  So, I thought it might be useful to me after all. And of course there are various news updates.  Although lately, it’s all so depressing I am not sure I am interested!!

We are going to try, again, to sell our house in a few weeks.  Although, I seriously am not sure it will work, because the market here is still so awful.  But, with God, all things are possible.  I may as well remain hopeful, I sure don’t like the alternative.

There is more snow coming tonight.  But, it shouldn’t be as bad as it was last time.  I hope not.  I still have 8 inches of snow on my back deck that’s been there since December 18th.

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2009 In Review, Part 2

31 December 2009

And now, for the part of 2009 that really didn’t personally concern me.  Macabre as it may sound, the part of the Oscars that I most enjoy is their tribute to the stars that have died that year.  Well, this year, I found a list of those who left us this year, and decided that some of them were worth mentioning here.  I think it is a true sign that I am getting older that I actually knew who more than half of the people were, and even had an opinion on most of them.  Not that my opinion matters much, but I do remember many years in which I had no idea who all those people were who had died, or why anyone would care.

So, I am categorizing them in my own way:  The “Greats” (Those who really made a difference for this world, and often risked their lives in doing so, or who just lived that long), The “Too-Young-To-Die” (Those who should have lived a few more decades, at the very least), The “Well Known and Loved” (I think that one is pretty self-explanatory), The “Rich and Powerful” (again, self-explanatory, except that these may not have bee so well-loved, at least not by yours truly!), and The “Not Well-Known-But-Important-Anyway” (maybe not household names, but still famous in their own right).  There is, of course, some overlap, but I’m generalizing, so please allow me some discrepancies.

GREATS

Marek Edelman (Last surviving leader of the 1943 Warsaw Ghetto uprising against the Nazis); Harry Patch (Last surviving British trench soldier from World War I); Millvina Dean (Last survivor of the Titanic); Maria de Jesus (World’s oldest person, age 115)

TOO-YOUNG-TO-DIE

Brittany Murphy (Actress, age 32);  Chris Henry (Bengals, age 26); Stephen Gately (Irish Pop Singer, age 33); Andy Kessler (Skateboarding Pioneer, age 48) Michael Jackson (Superstar, age 50); Dolla (Roderick Anthony Burton II) (Rapper, age 22);

WELL KNOWN AND LOVED

Roy E. Disney (Nephew of Walt Disney); Patrick Swayze (Actor; and he could qualify for “Too-Young-To-Die”, as well); Farrah Fawcett (Actress); Ed McMahon (Sidekick on the Tonight Show); David Carradine (Actor, Martial Artist);  Dom DeLuise (Comedic actor, director); Bea Arthur (Actress); Natasha Richardson (Stage and screen actress, qualifies for “Too-Young-To-Die”, as well); Paul Harvey (Broadcasting Pioneer); Ricardo Montalban (Actor);

RICH AND POWERFUL (Well-Known, but Not Necessarily Well-Loved)

Oral Roberts (Evangelist); Edward KennedyWalter Cronkite (Legendary Anchorman);

NOT WELL-KNOWN-BUT-IMPORTANT-ANYWAY

Don Hewitt (Creator of 60 Minutes);  Les Paul (Guitarist & Inventor); John Hughes (Director of “Sixteen Candles” and “The Breakfast Club”, two of my favorite movies); Billy Mays (TV Pitchman); Jack Kemp (Congressman and NFL quarterback);  Dave Arneson (Co-creator of the game Dungeons & Dragons);  Alan Livingston (Creator of Bozo the Clown; former president of Capitol Records who signed the Beatles and Frank Sinatra);  Millard Fuller (Habitat for Humanity founder)

I felt very sad when Farrah Fawcett died, and I think I actually grieved when Michael Jackson died.  No, I was not a huge fan, and I really never cared for much of his music, at least not anything he did after “Thriller”.  But growing up, Michael Jackson was as much a part of our lives as school, or dinner.  He was everywhere, and everyone knew him.  Listening to his songs that came out in the early 1980’s brought back so many very good memories.  How could I not grieve?  And, like him or not, he was freakishly gifted.  And finally, for what very little it’s worth:  I do not, and never have, thought he was a child molester.  If you want to know my reasoning behind that (and I would be shocked if anybody even cared!!) then email me, or leave a comment, and I’ll explain.  I also loved Dom DeLuise.  He was just somebody you wanted to hug!  And finally, I felt a tremendous amount of sadness when Paul Harvey died.  I knew his voice as well as my own father’s, and probably welcomed it more.

So, tomorrow is a new year, and a new decade.  Thank God!!!

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2009 In Review, Part 1

31 December 2009

I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m not nearly so entertaining as Dave Barry, but I still do my best to do some sort of  “Year In Review”, although usually it is in the form of a newsletter that I send out at Christmas.  Well, this year I didn’t send out a newsletter.  I have a lot of reasons for that, such as the obvious money-saving excuse, but on a deeper level, I think it is because I have come to the conclusion that, those who are truly interested in what is going on in my life and that of my husband and children, either call me regularly, or read this blog.

I love blogging.  I intentionally have not put up any ads on it, to make it cleaner and friendlier for my readers.  However, my best

Kendall the Journalist

Kendall the Journalist

friends never read this blog. And, if they did, it wouldn’t give them any new information.  I talk to them regularly on the phone or in person.  My extended family, to my knowledge, never reads this blog.  In particular:  my brother and sister and most of the rest of my family do not read this blog.  Nor do they talk to me.  I should mention, however, that my sister does call me on random occasions, and she always seems to know where I live and what my phone number is.  I can only assume that means she still loves me! ;)   On the rare occasions that I call them, the conversation usually starts with them saying something warm and caring, letting me know that I matter to them and they keep a close eye on me.  Something like “Oh, hi!  Where are you?  Do you still live in North Carolina?”  Or “I don’t have your phone number.”  (Please note that I have had the same cell phone number for the last decade, and that for the past two and a half decades I have sent out the obligatory annual newsletter apprising everyone of my address and phone numbers.)

Now, my immediate family does read this blog.  My mom, Gaylon, Kendall, his fiance Lishi and Faith usually read it voluntarily.  Alex reads it if I threaten him.  He has Facebook friends to talk to, after all.  Some of Kendall’s friends read my blog, and I am pretty sure several of my homeschool mom friends read this blog.

I do have a huge, accidental readership, though.  Back in September, when we were preparing for Alex’s “Victorian Themed Birthday Party” I decided to blog about the research I had done on Victorian clothing, and how it differed from Edwardian clothing.  I titled that post “Victoria vs. Edward”.  Well, apparently if you are a Twilight fan, you will spend a lot of time Googling those names and coming to my blog.  I have gotten literally hundreds of “hits” from all over the world from people Googling those names!!  Sorry, guys!  Just a conservative, Catholic homeschool mom here.

But, I digress.  I was discussing why I didn’t send out my customary Christmas newsletter with some sort of year-in-review.  Well, the other reason was that I didn’t have much to say.  One year ago, we really thought we knew exactly where God was leading us, and what we would be doing.  Now, that year has passed, and we only know one thing for sure:  we don’t have a

Alex at the Piano in His Victorian Tux

Alex at the Piano in His Victorian Tux

clue!!  Gaylon is still working in Texas, the rest of us are still living in North Carolina.  Our house has not sold. (Duh)  In fact, we only had ONE couple come to look at it, throughout the entirety of 2009, and that was back in January.  Yes, of course we will try again in 2010.  We have to.  And yes, my mother still lives with us.  We love her, and hope she will stay with us forever.  So, those are the questions we usually get asked.  For the stuff you didn’t know to ask:

Gaylon. . . loves working for Network Plumbing in Merkel, Texas, but of course he misses his family and wishes we could all be
together.  He comes home about every 3 weeks.  (Note:  I think he does a lot more ranching than plumbing, but that’s just my
personal observation!)

Kendall. . . is now a Senior at  University of North Carolina, Asheville.  He is majoring in Journalism.  Last February he became engaged to the beautiful and delightful Alicia Skojec, and they plan to marry next summer (2010).  We are thrilled for them!

Alex. . . is a Senior in High School, and is still homeschooled.  He has not done much acting this year, but has really focused on his piano and guitar, and is excelling at both.  He is very active in his church youth group and is looking forward to going with them to the March
For Life in Washington, D.C., next month.

Faith. . .is a domestic goddess in the making!  She won three ribbons at the Western North Carolina State Fair back in

Faith Shows Off Her Herbal Preparations

Faith Shows Off Her Herbal Preparations

September.  Two 2nd place ribbons for a denim, appliqued jumper that she sewed, and for a crocheted scarf, and a 3rd place ribbon for a quilt.  We took a couple of quilting classes this Fall, and she is really, really good at quilting. (Me, not so much! LOL) She also got her own sewing machine and has been sewing amazing things.  She is a fantastic cook, as well.  She also taught herself to knit and has turned out some really pretty knitted scarves and pillows. We have been studying herbal remedies this year, and Faith has done a lot of work wildcrafting and preparing her own herbal remedies.  She is in 7th grade this year, and is still homeschooled.  She loves to read, especially Fantasy and Sci-Fi.  Her brothers have been happy to loan her all of their books. :)

Valarie. . . still loves “documenting the dead” (Genealogy) and homeschooling. I am also still working on some writing projects, that I might actually carve time out for this new year.  I am forever trying to lose weight, and nope, it’s not working.  But alas, I shall start anew in a couple of days with (hopefully) renewed vigor and commitment!

So, there is our year in review.  It has blessedly passed by quickly, and we are praying very hard that this year, our house will sell, and we will get to all be together again.  Because, even though we could have sent out a newsletter bragging on our kids in depth, the truth is that this has been a very difficult year, and we really are glad it’s over.  In fact, it’s been, overall, a pretty rotten decade.  We are praying a LOT that the next year/decade will be infinitely better. We appreciate any prayers on our behalf, and please know that we pray for our friends and family regularly, whether we hear from you, or not.

Happy 2010!!

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Global Warming, Still

30 December 2009

I have been looking at 8 inches of snow on my back deck for 12 days now.  It is *COLD* out there! I have been reading that this winter and last are the coldest on record.  People all over the globe are seeing record snows and low temperatures.  Yet, this morning I read this on AOL’s “Wallet Pop“:

The Energy Information Administration (EIA) predicts that a typical U.S. household will spend less money on heating bills between October of this year and March of 2010 due to milder weather and lower cost of natural gas.

It is absolutely mind-boggling to me that the “experts” still can’t see what’s in front of their frozen little noses:  climate is cyclical, and “Global Warming” is on the way out!

But, I guess the real truth is that there is a tremendous amount of money and power in the propagation of the “Global Warming” myth.  If they can keep it going, then they can monitor our every move and control our industry, in the all hallowed name of saving the environment.

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Great Russian Nutcracker

22 December 2009

For a couple of years, in what seems like such a long time ago, we went to see the Asheville Ballet perform The Nutcracker every year at Christmas.  Alex danced with them for two years as Fritz, and one year he doubled up as one of the Chinese, as well.  Faith danced with them one year, too, as one of the lovely party guests in the first scene.  What I actually remember most about that particular year is that I almost never got the hairpiece attached to Faith’s hair, because it was too short to pull into a bun that year, and that I ran into Andi McDowell in the hallway outside of the dressing rooms, and she asked me where she might find a water fountain.  Those were fun, whirlwind times, full of stress and chaos, but great memories, nonetheless.

Russian Nutcracker

Well, Alex has tendinitis and can’t do much dancing these days, but we all thought it would be wonderful to see the Nutcracker again, this time as mere spectators.  So, tonight we will go to see the Moscow Ballet’s performance of the Great Russian Nutcracker up in Asheville.  I don’t know for sure about the rest of my family, but I am looking forward to it soooo much!  I love the ballet.  This has been an unbelievable stressful year, and I love the thought of being able to “escape” from the reality of our crazy world, for just a couple of hours, to enjoy a delightful fantasy.

Soon, it will be a new year, that I pray will be significantly more promising that this past one has been.  But tonight, I will step inside a time machine, and travel back to a time when things were so much more lovely and magical!

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About Those Cats

7 December 2009

We have five cats who graciously allow us to live here with them.  There are a few rules by which we must live, to keep peace in their world.  These rules serve, for the most part, to keep us entertained.  For example, when we go to the refrigerator to get ice, we are required to share.  Bonnie, our Pekingese, comes running, along with Stella, Faith’s kitten, and Pippin, my cat.  They want ice, too.  Bonnie eats it.  Bonnie eats anything that won’t eat her first, actually.  Stella and Pippin like to chase the ice.

More often than not, I have cats trying to get into the shower with me, as well.  Piewacket, Anastasia, and Pippin have all gotten into the shower with me, and love to stand on the edge of my bathtub and stare at me in the shower.  Yeah, it’s a bit unnerving.

Pippin and Anastasia love to jump up on my desk and plant themselves firmly and directly between me and my computer keyboard.  So, I have to stop whatever I am doing, and pet them.  Then I have to further delay my scheduled activities to wipe all of the fur off of my computer screen and my desk.

Pippin (the cat who has claimed me exclusively as his own) has to tuck me into bed every night.  He stands on my chest, nuzzles my ear with his wet little nose, and purrs loudly.  Then, he suddenly jumps down to the floor and heads off into the night.  If I have the poor manners to go to bed and shut him out of my room, he literally beats on my bedroom door until I get up and let him in, so that he can tuck me in.  This little ritual gets short-circuited when Gaylon is home.  He thinks it is absolutely ludicrous to get out of a soft, comfy, warm bed to let a cat in.  Or out.  Which, in all honesty, is not completely fair to Pippin, since Pippin does try to tuck Gaylon in, too, when he’s here.  Gaylon just doesn’t seem to appreciate the gesture as much as I do. ;)

Stella and the Christmas TreeFaith’s kitten, however, has presented us with a challenge we’ve never had to deal with before.  Let me give some background information, first.  Stella Luna is only about 5 months old.  She is very small, and we think she will probably always be quite tiny.  She is faster than any creature that we have ever encountered.  I’m not entirely convinced that she can’t fly!  Well, yesterday, she seemed bent on showing us her climbing skills.  I cannot begin to tell you how shocking it is to look up and see a ten-foot Christmas tree shaking!  We couldn’t even see the cat, because she was deep inside the tree, climbing straight up the middle of it, about halfway to the top! (Please refer to diagram for further clarification!) :o   That’s a first for our family.  We’ve never had a cat climb any of our Christmas trees.

So, we set the water bottle on “stun”, and sprayed her.  Our packages are all water-stained, and I’m just praying we don’t end up causing damage to the lights, or worse. . .

And, she seems to be  very slow learner.  She climbed up that tree three times in one day!! Thankfully, only one ornament has been broken thus far.  We definitely cannot leave her out if we’re not here.  No telling what we might find when we got home, but I’m thinking it would be something horrific, and of Biblical proportions!

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Holiday Eating Tips

30 November 2009

I get this email every year, but I love it! In fact, I agree with it so much I’m posting it here. Enjoy!

HOLIDAY EATING TIPS

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy . Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

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