Monthly Archives: February 2008

Things have been really busy around here lately. We have joined 4-H, and while that hasn’t taken up much time yet, I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to, and soon! Tomorrow night Faith and I will be helping out with a fundraiser, working the concession stand. But, it sounds fun, so we are looking forward to it. Both Faith and Alex are about to start working on their presentations, and Faith is starting a 4-H Sewing Class next week. Also, Alex is going to start working on writing a script for our club to do for 4-H Entertains in May.

It is also Girl Scout Cookie Delivery Time. So, what that means is that our dining room is covered up in boxes and cases of Girl Scout Cookies. Everywhere! Unfortunately, Faith is a great salesperson, and sold 125 boxes this year, by herself. (I would have been more helpful, but was recovering from surgery, so that didn’t work out too well.)

Alex is staying really busy with Drama and Church. He still does his Drama Reading Group every other week with a group of homeschoolers at the library. They do cold readings of plays, everything from Shakespeare to Arthur Miller. He loves it, and they all have a lot of fun. He is also taking an acting class at the Flat Rock Playhouse. If you haven’t heard of it, it truly is world class. Click their name in red up above to check out their website. Alex has started up a prayer group for the youth group, too. They meet thirty minutes before Youth on Sunday evenings to say the Rosary. He felt very strongly led to do this, and got it set up without anything from me but encouragement. How proud I am goes without saying. The other big news with Alex is that he shaved his head for Lent. Yeah, really. My Mom says that he and Kendall now look like Cousin It and Uncle Fester, because Kendall’s hair is so long, and Alex’s is gone!!

Speaking of Kendall, he is doing great at college, and lately has been staying busy helping his girlfriend move down here from D.C. She is planning on coming down in a couple of weeks, and will be staying with us until she gets a job here and her own place. She is a very resourceful and courageous young woman, and I am very impressed with her. She has saved up a substantial amount of money, and I think is going to make the transition very smoothly. We are looking forward to having her here and getting to know her better.

Gaylon’s job is going well, keeping him very busy. I am getting a lot busier with editing our homeschool support group’s yearbook. It’s a lot of fun, but a lot of work. We have new software this year, so I am also having to learn to use Adobe InDesign, which has a bit of a learning curve, but hey! I love a challenge! I am also now the assistant leader for our Girl Scout Troop. I don’t think I really do that much assisting, but it’s fun. Gaylon and I are hoping to find a weekend to get away for a bit and relax. But that will have to wait until after Easter, I’m sure!

So, that’s the update here. I realized that I hadn’t written anything ‘personal’ for a while, so thought it was probably time! Besides, it’s not every year you get to blog on February 29th! I would love to hear from those of you who are far away! Leave me a comment!! And, since tomorrow it’ll be March . . . Eírinn Go Brágh!!

Recently, someone shared a wonderful resource with me for doing Online Genealogical Research.  It is a website with literally hundreds of links to other sites. I thought I would share it here, in case anyone wants to check out any of the links.  Who knows?  Maybe it will help someone get past a brick wall in their research.  I am also adding it to my Genealogy Links on the sidebar of this blog.

ProGenealogists: Genealogy Sleuth Search for your Ancestors on the Internet

Daffodils

I was talking to a friend today, who had taken Faith to the movies last week with her daughters. She told me that they really enjoyed Faith, and how delightful she is to be around. (I agree, but it’s always so nice to hear it from someone else!) Then she went on to tell me that they had all gotten tickled with something Faith had said, and now quoted her frequently.

Apparently, while they were driving to the movie, Faith announced that Spring was very near. Then she very dramatically explained, “We have two daffodils in our yard, and the daffodils never lie!” Now, whenever my friend and her daughters see a daffodil in their yard, they look at each other and quote Faith: “The daffodils never lie!” That’s my daughter, the flower child.

Okay, this is where I’m probably going to offend someone. But I read something today that made my blood run cold. I was reading Yahoo! News, about the Democratic Primaries. It’s an interesting and short read, if anyone is interested: Clinton Ridicules Obama in Comeback Bid. Apparently, Hilary is saying that we (Americans) have to make choices between speeches and solutions. (I agree.) Her point is that Obama may be a great speaker and motivator (So was Hitler) but there is a world of difference between being able to motivate people and effectively lead them. (Indeed!) Obama’s response is what I found so chilling:

“Contrary to what she’s been saying, it’s not a choice between speeches and solutions,” he said.

“It’s a choice between a politics that offers more of the same divisions and distractions that didn’t work in South Carolina and didn’t work in Wisconsin and will not work in Texas. Or a politics of common sense, of common purpose, of shared sacrifice and shared prosperity.”

WHAT???? We already share enough of our sacrifice and prosperity with those who refuse to lift a finger to help themselves! For anyone who cannot read between the lines, let me help you out here: Shared Sacrifice + Shared Prosperity = Communism.

Sadly, most people do not think for themselves. They are far too willing to believe whatever they hear, especially if it is worded in such a way as to tickle their ears. They never bother to research what they hear. In fact, they don’t even know how to apply classical logic to the arguments presented by politicians. Most politicians talk in pretty circles, but don’t ever say anything. But, by golly, it sounds good! And that’s exactly how Hitler convinced good, honest, decent German people to throw the Jews into concentration camps. He was a master of propaganda, and so is Obama.

Obama’s catch phrase is “Yes, we can!” Who can? Unless Congress is behind him, he’s not going anywhere with his campaign promises. And all these young fans who are rallying behind him, what are they going to do to help when the show is over and the work begins? They are no more than groupies, fanatically following their new star. They are blinded to the truth that this man has no experience and his agenda is more than questionable.

I pray that the American people wake up. I hope that we take a good, hard, long look at the candidates and what they really represent, and who they truly are. Yeah, it’s disturbing, but it’s necessary. Please don’t jump on any bandwagon until you know what powers it.

into your way of peace

what does it take?
create in me a new heart,
renew my mind and
make me holy
like you, O Lord!

i have hidden in the valleys,
haunted by my guilt
never daring to seek the Light;
telling myself it was enough
to remember the warmth,
clutching hollow memories
of who I used to be.

and yet you saw me,
crouching in the shadow of the Cross
collecting your tears
to mix with my wine.
you looked down on me
in love and compassion
and suddenly I knew
i could yet ascend
the mountain of the Lord
and stand before your gates!

all I have to offer
are your own tears,
nothing of my own has value.
i have treasured them
all this time
wrapped up in my heart,
a hopeful fountain of grace.
praying that someday
the shadows would lift, and
your dawn from on high
would indeed break upon my darkness
and guide my feet
into your way of peace.

(Scripture References: Psalm 24 and Luke 1:68-79)

“Holiness consists in carrying out God’s will with joy. Faithfulness forges saints. . . . The first step toward holiness is the will to attain it. With a will that is whole we love God, we opt for Him, we run toward Him, we reach Him, we possess Him. Often, under the pretext of humility, of confidence, of abandonment, we forget about using our will. But it all depends on these words–I want or I do not want. I have to pour out all my energy into the words ‘I want.’ We cannot decide to become saints without a great effort of renunciation, of resisting temptations, of combat, persecution, and of all sorts of sacrifices. It is not possible to love God except at one’s own expense.” ~*~Mother Teresa of Calcutta~*~

I am doing a Bible Study on Holiness (Courageous Love: A Bible Study on Holiness for Women, by Stacy Mitch) and found this quote in the study guide. I thought it was amazingly profound. But then again, that is usually my reaction to most things Mother Teresa said! Anyway, I think what really struck me was how it stands in such stark contrast to the “Me” Culture of American Christianity. I have never been able to stomach “prosperity” doctrines, which teach that God will bless you financially, physically and spiritually, if you just believe hard enough, pray hard enough, and act Christian enough. Even a cursory glance at history reveals that such a belief is ridiculous!

So I loved what Mother Teresa said about renunciation, resisting temptations, combat, persecution and all sorts of sacrifices. It makes so much more sense to me. And, I also love what she said about forgetting to use our will. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can find a million excuses to not exercise my will in serving God, and why that’s really okay. But in the end, it’s up to me to choose God, to choose holiness. Anything else is really not okay. I’m so glad his mercies are new every morning!!!

My kids and I often use Instant Messenger for an intercom system. I will IM them to let them know it’s time for dinner, or whatever. It works really well. So, the other day, I was on my computer, and Faith IM’d me to let me know she’d sent me an email. And we were sort of chatting back and forth via the computer, even though she was just one room away.

After a bit, there was a lull in the ‘conversation’, but I didn’t really notice, because I was busy working on something. Next thing I know, she messages me with this bit of information:

“Sorry, I existentially shut down the IM window!”

Long pause, while I try to wrap my brain around the fact that my 10 year old daughter, who has always had spelling issues, has just used the word “existentially”, and spelled it correctly! What could this mean????

So, I finally message her back and asked if she meant “accidentally”? It turns out that, yes, that was what she meant. But it begs the question: did she really shut that IM window down, or did it just seem like she did, in some parallel universe? I still have to laugh to myself when I think about it.

Madeline

As a child, what I remember most was that my Great-Aunt Madeline was blind. She could see a bit, but legally, she was blind. I think she could see better when she was younger, but by the time I knew her, her eyesight was extremely poor. She had red hair, and wore funny blue-tinted glasses, and she was always immaculately dressed. She was my grandfather’s sister.

She tried to teach me to knit, but I was not a very good student at the time. So, instead, she would knit beautiful things and send them to me. I was always particularly intrigued by her shoes. Even though she had to have help walking, because of her blindness, she wore the prettiest shoes, and always with heels. I also remember that she was a really great cook. She briefly lived next door to my grandparents when I was a kid, and I remember going over there for dinner a few times. It was always excellent.

My father loved Madeline, and loved to tell stories about her. His favorite story was about when she had surgery to improve her eyesight. He asked her what was the most surprising thing about being able to see. Her response kept him in stitches for years. She replied “My reflection.” He would also marvel at how she would only smoke a cigarette when she came to visit. She would ask him for one of his, and then that was it. She would not smoke another one until the next time she came to visit, and that could be a year or two.

Madeline, however, was actually my mother’s aunt. My mother remembers staying with her in Chicago when her younger sister was born, and remembers Madeline coming to visit them when she was a kid. She said they would have to go to the train station to pick her up, and that it was always very exciting. I think Mom gets a lot of her independence and spunk from Madeline.

Aunt Madeline hated Texas, and spent most of her life trying to get out of it. She had some success at that. She lived in Chicago for several years, attending modeling school while she was there. At some point she moved out to California, where she met and married Ed Coleman. She was 55 when she married for the first and only time. They were married for 19 years before he passed away, and she outlived him by another twenty years.

Madeline & Ed Coleman

Madeline was a brilliant woman, and had she been born in another age, she would have been an ideal candidate for CEO of a company. Her memory was incredible, and her attention to detail was unparalleled. Even after having not been to Chicago for 30 years, she could describe the streets, buildings and landmarks as if she’d been there yesterday.

The last time I saw her was just over four years ago. She was in a nursing home down in Marble Falls, Texas. My cousin, Spencer, and I (along with my kids) went to visit her and take her to lunch. At ninety, she still looked amazing, and held herself regally, with as much dignity and poise as any queen could ever hope to achieve. We took her to lunch, then

Madeline - 80th Birthday

brought her back to her room. We visited for a while, but couldn’t stay, as we were traveling. I didn’t realize that it would be the last time I ever saw her.

When my house burned down in the Summer of 2005, she called me at my mother’s house to express her concern. She wanted to help me, and told me I would need dishes, so she sent her beautiful Noritake dishes to me. She said she didn’t need them anymore, living in the nursing home, and so I could have them. I thanked her, hung up the phone, and wept. What an amazing, generous gift! She had been suffering for several years from dementia, yet she very clearly knew what had happened to me, who I was, and had figured out a way to help. I was humbled and honored beyond expression. So today, we used those dishes (instead of the plastic ones we usually use) in honor of Aunt Madeline.

Madeline passed away Saturday night, in her sleep. I loved my Aunt Madeline very much, and I feel an emptiness because she’s gone. She was my link to the past, to a world I never knew but would have loved to have been a part of. She remembered everything with such brilliant detail, and was always glad to tell me about what it was like when she was young. I miss her, and I will miss her memories. Her passing marks the end of an era in our family.

There are a ton of Mexican food restaurants in our area. In fact, Alex is ever fearful that someone is going to tear down our house to build a new one! All of these establishments are owned and operated by hardworking Mexicans who have moved here from Central Mexico. Most of them ( the restaurants) are tolerable. One of them, Papas and Beer, is abominable, yet everyone in and around Hendersonville thinks it’s just the best stuff ever.

Let’s get something straight: Mexican food involves CHEDDAR CHEESE. SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE. On everything. It also involves HOT RED SAUCE. Never, under any circumstances should there be any form of white cheese on a plate of Mexican food. Especially melted goat cheese.

Now, please allow me to define “HOT”. HOT = anything that will break a sweat on the forehead of a Mexican man. If it won’t do that, then calling it ‘hot’ is false advertising.

Now, who am I, that I should claim to be such an expert on Mexican Food? I grew up in Southeastern New Mexico and West Texas. ‘Nuff said. The stuff they are serving east of the Mississippi does not qualify as Mexican Food. Not even the stuff down in Florida, no matter how many Hispanics claim it’s authentic. If it ain’t TexMex, don’t try to tell me that it’s real. And, before I conclude with this regularly scheduled edition of ‘Valarie’s Soapbox’, let me add that Taco Salad, (or any salad, for that matter) does not qualify as having eaten anything, let alone Mexican Food.

Suffering is a part of life, on some level or another. I’ve never met someone who hasn’t felt pain at some point. We all deal with it differently, expressing it with varying degrees of openness, but we are all far too familiar with pain: emotional, mental, physical.So it is comforting to me to know that my God suffered, too. To know that he endured measures of emotional, mental and physical anguish that I cannot even begin to imagine or comprehend, because that means that no matter how bad things might seem to me, He can relate, and can be there for me. And not only that, but He can bring meaning to our pain.

Someone expressed this really well to me today: God does not always take our pain away, but he is there to hold us. Isn’t that what a good parent does? God doesn’t save us from pain and suffering, but He is always there for us, and can take our suffering and turn it into growth. Archbishop Fulton Sheen said: “The Goodness of God means that God gives us what we need for our perfection, not what we want for our pleasure and sometimes for our destruction. As a sculptor, He sometimes applies the chisel to the marble of our imperfect selves and knocks off huge chunks of selfishness that His image may better stand revealed. Like a musician, whenever He finds the strings too loose on the violin of our personality, He tightens them even though it hurts, that we may better reveal our hidden harmonies.”

On Fridays during Lent, we have the unique opportunity to participate, in a very small way, in the ultimate suffering of our Savior: The Stations of the Cross. We will pray and meditate at each station, walking along with our Lord, as he makes his slow, treacherous ascent to Calvary. (These events were beautifully dramatized by Mel Gibson in his movie ‘The Passion of the Christ‘) I am always reminded, as we say the words “We adore you, O Christ and we bless you, Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world” of how very much God loves me, and of the lengths to which He has gone to demonstrate that love for me, for all of us. And the Stations of the Cross are such an amazing, tangible way to teach my children how much God loves them. How could anyone refuse a love like that?

The Stations of the Cross

1. Jesus is Condemned to Death
2. Jesus is Made to Bear the Cross
3. Jesus Falls the First Time
4. Jesus Meets His Afflicted Mother
5. Simon of Cyrene Helps Jesus to Carry His Cross
6. Veronica Wipes the Face of Jesus
7. Jesus Falls the Second Time
8. Jesus Speaks to the Women of Jerusalem
9. Jesus Falls the Third Time
10. Jesus is Stripped of His Garments
11. Jesus is Nailed to the Cross
12. Jesus Dies on the Cross
13. Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross
14. The Body of Jesus is Placed in the Tomb

I am always somewhat surprised by the Gospel Reading for Ash Wednesday. Jesus is talking to his disciples, warning them not to perform righteous deeds in order that people may see them. He tells them to give alms secretly, to not even let the right hand know what the left is doing. He goes on to exhort them not to be like the hypocrites, standing and praying in the synagogues and on street corners, so that others will see them. He says we should pray in secret. And finally, if we are fasting, it should be our little secret. We should look nice and clean. (Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18)

Then we all get in line and go up to receive ashes on our foreheads! At first glance, it seems like we are jumping up and heading straight into what Jesus said to avoid. At first glance. But upon closer examination, there is (or at least there should be) a big difference between the public acts of the hypocrites Jesus condemns in Matthew, and the distribution of ashes on the foreheads of the faithful.

The individuals Jesus was talking about were performing righteous deeds, giving alms, praying and fasting for effect. Everything they did was carefully calibrated to make people think they were holy. It was all a show, a smoke-and-mirrors event. Inside, deep in their hearts, they were far from holy. And I think they knew it, but as long as they could keep up the charade, they didn’t care. Until Jesus came along and saw them for who they really were, and called them on it. No wonder they wanted him dead!

But back to those ashes. The Old Testament is full of references to the use of sackcloth and ashes. Mordecai resorted to sackcloth and ashes when he heard that King Xerxes had decreed that all of the Jews in the Persian Empire were to be killed. (Esther 4:1) Job also used sackcloth and ashes to express his repentance. (Job 42:6). Daniel writes about turning to the Lord with prayer, fasting, sackcloth and ashes. (Daniel 9:3). And in the New Testament, in reference to towns who refused to repent, in spite of all the miracles they’d witnessed, Jesus said, “If the miracles worked in you had taken place in Tyre and Sidon, they would have reformed in sackcloth and ashes long ago” (Matthew 11:21) You get the idea.

So ashes have been with us a long time. Receiving ashes on the first day of Lent is a practice that dates back to the fifth century. We have even earlier references to the use of ashes being used by the Early Church from the writings of Tertullian (c. 160-220) and Eusebius (c. 260-340).

But these are not the ashes of the hypocrites. These ashes are merely an outward sign of a commitment to an “interior pilgrimage towards him who is the fount of mercy” (Pope Benedict XVI). We no longer use sackcloth, and the ashes are merely symbolic, but the meaning is the same: we are sorry for the way we’ve acted and the things we’ve done, and we want to change. So, this is the first part of the journey toward Easter, toward our rebirth through repentance. How cool is that?

Sources: CatholicCulture.com, Vatican.va

While everyone is down in New Orleans partying at Mardi Gras, and Europeans are indulging in Carnival, Poles all over the United States are celebrating Paczki Day! (Pronounced: punch-key day)

Traditionally, the reason for making paczki has been to use up all the lard, sugar, eggs and fruit in the house, which are forbidden during Lent. They are eaten especially on Fat Thursday, the last Thursday before Lent (Polish: Tlusty czwartek, not to be confused with Fat Tuesday or Shrove Tuesday). In Buffalo, Chicago, Cleveland, Detroit, Hamtramck, Milwaukee, and South Bend Paczki Day is more commonly celebrated on Fat Tuesday instead of Fat Thursday. Chicago celebrates both Fat Thursday & Fat Tuesday, partially due to its sizeable Polish population.

Paczki

Although they look like Bismarcks or jelly-filled pastries, Paczki are made from especially rich dough containing eggs, fats, sugar and sometimes milk. They feature a variety of fruit and crème fillings and can be glazed, or covered with granulated or powdered sugar. These pastries have become popular in the United States as a result of Polish immigrants and marketing by the bakery industry. They are prepared exclusively in preparation for Lent and are hugely popular in many parts of the country. In Hamtramck, an enclave in Detroit, there is an annual Paczki-Day (Fat Tuesday) Parade, and lines at bakeries can be seen up to 24 hours before the deep-fried delights go on sale Tuesday morning. Many bars in town open early in the morning, and provide free entertainment, a party atmosphere, Paczki-clad mascots, and at at least one bar, Paczki filled with Jagermeister. The Paczki-Day celebration in this town is even larger than many areas have for St. Patrick’s Day. Prunes are considered the traditional filling, but many others are used as well, including lemon, strawberry, Bavarian cream, blueberry, custard, raspberry, and rarely apple. Due to French influence, paczki are eaten on Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) rather than on Fat Thursday. In the large Polish community of Chicago, and other large cities across the Midwest, paczki day is also celebrated annually by immigrants and locals alike.

Another cultural phenomenon is the emergence of the “Paczki Challenge.” A eating contest in which individuals attempt to race from one side of a room (non – standard) while eating as much or as many Paczki as they can before reaching the other side. The person to reach first and having eaten the most Paczkis wins. Typically a ratio of 1 Paczki for every 10 steps is considered competitive.

Okay, it’s not as, um, exotic as Mardi Gras or Carnival, but it’s my Polish heritage!

(Above information about Paczki Day from: Wikipedia)

My daughter and I love to crochet. In fact, when she and I decided to learn how to crochet a couple of years ago, she picked it up far more quickly than I did. I was struggling to master the simple ‘chain’. She on the other hand, magically crocheted a little ball that she then stuffed with cotton and used as a cat toy! Since then, she has developed her own patterns for various doll blankets, scarves, pillows and other items that she finds useful in her ten-year-old world. And her stitches are absolutely perfect and even.

I know that crochet relaxes me, and I enjoy creating pretty things for my friends and family. I cannot create my own patterns, like my daughter, but it’s still a fun way for me to unwind. So I was pleasantly surprised to find the following article this morning: People Who Knit and Crochet May Be Happier and Healthier on The Open Press.

Evidently, activities such as knitting and crochet can lower one’s heart rate, lower blood pressure, increase creativity and help one to be better in math. Okay, I confess that NOTHING could probably help me with my math issues, but that’s a different story!

So, even though I couldn’t care less about Football, I think this evening will find me curled up in front of the T.V., watching the ads, er, I mean, Superbowl, and working on that ripple afghan I started last year!

. . . you should see the photo!! Let me explain. I checked my email tonight, and found a Flickr message from somebody named Jarrett, telling me that he represents a new website called NowPublic.com, and that they have found one of my photographs on Flickr that they think would be good for an article they’re doing on their new site.

Well, needless to say, I was curious, so I checked it out. They didn’t say which picture they were interested in, so I had to at least find out. Now let me admit up front that I am not the world’s greatest photographer, although, from time to time I manage to take an amazing picture of one of my cats! So, imagine my shock when I found that the picture they had found was of the Seven-Layer Dip I made for our Halloween Party!!! Of all of the thousands of pictures I’ve taken in my lifetime, never in my wildest imaginings did I think that a picture of bean dip would capture someone’s attention!

However, it’s a real site, and a pretty good article! Check it out: “Double Dipping is ‘Like Kissing Everybody at the Party’. When you’re done reading the article, be sure to click on the slide show to see my photo! However, for those of you who are never going to click that link, here is a copy of the picture:

I am proud to say that I made the whole thing myself, right down to the pumpkin-shaped tortilla chips. And I even managed to get a picture of it before everyone descended upon it like locusts!