I hate spiders. I can’t even begin to describe how much. When I see one, I break out in a cold sweat, and my ‘fight or flight’ reflex kicks in to high gear. Gaylon loves to tell the story about how I was driving down the highway one day, and a spider dropped down in front of me from the roof of my car. Apparently, I yelled “Grab the wheel!” and dove into the back seat. Personally, I do not remember this incident very clearly, but based on my irrational and insane fear of these creatures, I really can’t deny it. It’s probably all true.

While Kendall is not afraid of them, he does prefer them dead. Alex shares my phobia, only his reaction is far more effective than mine: he sets out to kill them, one and all. Which leads me to tonight’s story. We were out on the front porch, enjoying the warm evening, when I spotted one of the dreaded beasts at the foot of one of our stone pillars. I yelled for Kendall to kill it, since he was the only one wearing shoes. Then I jumped back to hide behind Alex. So, Kendall walked over and stomped on it. Which set off a horrifying chain of events. The giant spider just walked off, but in the process, a black cloud of thousands of tiny spiders erupted in a hideous wave, all over the porch. Alex and I nearly killed each other trying to jump into the house. I heard my mother say something that sounded very much like a cry for divine intervention. Even Kendall jumped back.

Then, Alex swung into motion. He ran to the garage, grabbed the WD40, and headed back out to the porch. I was right behind him, in search of the bug spray, which, predictably, was nowhere to be found. By the time Mom and I did find it and got back out to the porch, Kendall had taken the WD40 from Alex, combined it with a lighter, and torched the evil invaders. Sadly, I didn’t get to witness the great wall of flame that engulfed the thousands of tiny monsters. Now we have scorch marks on our porch, and hundreds of little black scorched dots. That’s okay with me.

So, I was thinking: while it is well and good to have bug spray, and regularly scheduled visits from the Terminix guy, there is nothing that can compare to the instant effectiveness and gratification of two teenage boys, an aerosol can and a Bic lighter!! (Read: instant flame-thrower!!) I am always grateful that God blessed with me boys, but I am especially grateful tonight. 🙂 Alex commented later that if we have a superhero called ‘Spiderman’, then we really need ‘Raidman’, too. I couldn’t agree more! But I have to say, I think Kendall and Alex were close enough to being superheroes tonight.

Be Sociable, Share!