When I first realized that I wanted to start attending births again, I wasn’t really sure what the reaction would be. I knew Gaylon would support me. In fact, I knew my entire family would be on board. Alex put it very well. When I asked him what he thought he said “It’s who you are. You should be a midwife and make quilts.” He has always had a knack for summing things up! 😉
I’ve been blown away by the support of my friends, both near and far. I got the sweetest letter of recommendation from one of the midwives I apprenticed with in South Carolina. My brother-in-law sent out a congratulatory Tweet. Friends on Facebook have all been incredibly supportive and encouraging. I am humbled by it all.
So, in looking into what all is involved in getting licensed as a midwife here in Texas, I started also looking around online for some of the birth books I used to have in my library. Books that I lost in the fire. I was hoping to replace some of those books I’d collected all those years ago. Some of the very first books I ever got about birth came to mind: “Helping Hands: The Apprentice Workbook“ by Carla Hartley, founder of Ancient Art Midwifery Institute (formerly Apprentice Academics). “Becoming A Midwife“ by Carolyn Steiger. Those books are no longer in print, but they’re out there, on used book sites. And, while I can get copies, some of them just can’t be replaced. Ever.
Like the Birth Book by Raven Lang. It was given to me by the first midwife I ever met. (So were the other two books I mentioned, come to think of it. . .) Beth was my midwife with Alex, and she was the first person to ever ask me if I would like to be an apprentice. I don’t think either of us had any idea what we had set into motion.
Twenty-two years ago, when I was pregnant with Alex and hoping desperately to not have another c-section, I found an ad in the local paper for a yard sale. The proceeds were going to be split between the Carlsbad La Leche League and the Carlsbad Midwifery Association. I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea that there were any midwives in Carlsbad, New Mexico! So, almost 8 months pregnant, I headed over to meet my destiny.
Sitting on a lawn chair under a tree with lots of small children playing all over the yard was a quiet woman with a book in her lap. She looked up at me and smiled warmly, and somewhat expectantly. I mentioned that I didn’t know anything about the Carlsbad Midwifery Association, and she explained that it was a fairly new group, consisting of herself and another midwife. I told her I was fascinated by midwifery, and of course we started talking about birth.
She asked if she could feel my belly, and I saw no harm in that. So, she very gently felt around, and told me EXACTLY where the baby’s head, bottom and back were. She even gave me a general estimate of how much she thought he might weigh. And she was dead-on accurate. I know this because I had had an ultrasound just a few days early, and it had verified everything she told me. Only I had paid $250 for the ultrasound, and this midwife was able to tell me the same information for free, standing under a tree in her front yard. I was totally hooked!
She told me she would “catch” my baby for free, if I would agree to be her apprentice. Looking back, I realize that she must’ve been pretty desperate for an apprentice! But I agreed, right there on the spot, and one of the most wondrous friendships I’ve ever had was born.
I went home and talked to Gaylon, who thought it was a great plan, and we scheduled my first prenatal with Beth. Upon walking into her living room, one of the first things to catch my eye was a poster she had framed on the wall. It was a painting of two midwives, holding babies. It was brightly colored, and not exactly the sort of art I would generally be attracted to, but there was something about it, nonetheless. It had a caption that I loved: “But the midwives feared God, and did not as the King of Egypt commanded them, but saved the babies alive.” It was from Exodus, and I’ve always loved that verse. Loved that the midwives did what was right in the sight of God, no matter the dire consequences of not obeying Pharaoh.
On another wall, Beth had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, filled with books. She said she had almost 1,000 books, all about pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding. I was in awe. I love books. Clearly, this woman was a kindred spirit!
Those early memories of my first venture into midwifery in the early 1990’s are some of my most precious. I loved everything I was learning, and could not learn enough! I shared my new-found knowledge with anyone who would slow down long enough for me to get a few words in. And, although Alex was ultimately born by c-section, I had the support and love of a midwife throughout my very long, four day labor. I found a strength deep within myself that I had not known existed prior to that. I have never been the same.
We moved to North Carolina less than two years after meeting Beth and getting involved in midwifery, but we kept in touch. We’ve visited one another from time to time, and our friendship has remained strong. Now, after two decades of both of our families moving all over the place, we are all in Texas, only three hours apart!
So last week, when she messaged me on Facebook to tell me they wanted to swing by on their way home from a little trip they were taking, I was delighted. Gaylon and I are always delighted to get any time to visit with Beth and her husband. She said she had some books for me. I knew she’d gotten rid of a lot of her birth books over the years, and that she had long since stopped attending births. But I did not realize that she was down to her last three books!
So, when she walked in with three books, two of which I’d been looking for, I was thrilled. But then, when I saw them bring in the Midwives Poster, I was stunned! All those memories from twenty years ago came flooding over me, and I felt like I was back in Beth’s living room in Carlsbad. I have hung the picture in my office, and every time I walk in, it’s the first thing I see. I love it, and I cannot express how much it means to me that she has passed it on to me. It takes me back to my roots in the homebirth community, and gives me encouragement for my future endeavors in serving women as they bring new life into this world.