Last week, we signed a lease on a house in Austin, Texas.  Today, Gaylon has rented the moving trucks, and I am reserving a flight home for Kendall’s friend, Joey, who has volunteered to drive one of the trucks for us.  We are packing a little bit more every day. This is really happening!  We are really doing this!

But, now that everything is starting to come together,  it’s just getting tougher and tougher.  Like this morning.  My friend Lisa came to hang out for a bit.  Her son, Eli, walked in and announced that it was really getting depressing, seeing all of the boxes in our house.  Yeah.  I totally agree.  And it makes it harder still that I delivered that child when he was born, almost 15 years ago!

My friends are really starting to press in, and let me know they love me.  I got a text from the Amazing Kathy T.  We are going to have breakfast together tomorrow morning.  Then I got an email from Vicky. She wants me to drop by during her break some day before we leave.  Many more friends have RSVP’d for Kendall’s wedding, and it’s killing me, because I know that it will be the last time I see most of them for a very, very long time.

And it’s not just my friends, but my homeschool support group I’m leaving behind.  I got an email yesterday informing me that it’s time to renew my membership in the Henderson County Homeschool Association.  By the time that membership is due, I will be 1100 miles from here, in a new “galaxy, far, far away”.  I will miss the Fall Family Picnic.

But I think that the most difficult part of saying ‘Goodbye’ is leaving behind all the memories.  This is where my children grew up.  And Faith was born here.  I have such sweet, sweet memories of La Leche League Meetings, Bible Studies, “Friday Classes”, Ice Cream at Piggy’s, the Christmas Lights on Main Street and Little League Baseball games at Jackson Park. Some of my favorite times were with Kendall, as he participated in “My Father’s House” and shared God’s love with others through Sign Language and Music. And I loved watching Alex dance with the Asheville Ballet and act at the Flat Rock Playhouse, and going with Faith to her Girl Scout and 4-H meetings.  I know that I will always carry those precious images in my heart, but there is something about leaving this place that makes me know I will leave a very vital piece of myself behind.

We started the house-hunting process right away, and discovered that this is going to be tough.  We thought we’d found a great house in South Austin this morning, and I even heard the property management lady tell the realtor (over speaker phone) that she would hold it until she got our paperwork.  Then he called me a few hours later, after I’d already gotten money orders made out and spent money faxing forms to Gaylon, and he had already faxed them back to the realtor, to tell me that she had rented it right out from under us!  Wow.  That was a really tough blow.

We have a few other things lined up, and are praying hard that we will find the perfect house.  We don’t need anything as big as what we have in North Carolina, and we can live almost anywhere for a year, right? *sigh*

However, in the meantime, Alex got on the internet and found a really awesome lunch spot for us: Shady Grove.  It is a Tex-Mex Burger Joint not far from Zilker Park (Austin City Limits) and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g!!  I had a green chile cheeseburger, and it made my lips burn!!!  Yes!!!  We both loved the funky-cool “Keep Austin Weird” vibe, too.  We felt right at home, after all, we are from Asheville!

Then we went with Donna and her fiance, Dave, to a place called Central Market.  Now, we have Whole Foods and Earth Fare back in NC, and I love them.  But this place was like Earth Fare on mega-steroids!!!  We found so many awesome items.  For example, I can’t wait to try their sausages (like the one with cherries and pecans!) or the mushrooms!  Finding just the right mushrooms for the pierogi at Christmas is gonna be very easy from now on.   Alex found the “real” Dr. Pepper, made with Imperial Sugar, instead of corn syrup.  He is a true blue “Pepper”, and my cousin, Branden, got him hooked on the “real” Dr. Peppers years ago.

Tomorrow, we are planning to look at some more houses, and we have an appointment Saturday morning to look at one up in the Brushy Creek area that looks very promising.  Alex and I also decided that the best remedy for our stress and discouragement is to spend some time in Eucharistic Adoration, so we are planning on finding St. Williams up in Round Rock tomorrow and doing that.  We know it won’t necessarily make things easier, but it will definitely give us strength. Gaylon and Faith (who now wants to be called Abby) will get here tomorrow afternoon.  I am very much looking forward to that.  I feel so much calmer when Gaylon is with me.  We will probably head downtown and check out whatever is going on down there tomorrow night, too.

I am excited.  I am looking forward to the adventure of meeting new friends and experiencing new things in new places.  But I am also grieving deeply the life I am leaving behind here in North Carolina.  These Blue Ridge Mountains have been my home for the past sixteen years, and my children have grown up here.  I have so many memories and friends here.  This is so much more difficult than it was to leave New Mexico.  I find myself feeling very melancholy sometimes, and it’s hard to stay upbeat and positive when that happens.

Yet, I know, beyond any doubt, that moving to Texas is what God has for our family right now, and that it will be a good move.  I spent almost two weeks out there at the beginning of this month with Gaylon, and it was wonderful!  Besides getting to spend some really needed one-on-one time with Gaylon without any kids or anything, I really got to remember all the things I love about Texas.  The people in Texas are, without any doubt, the friendliest in the world!  Here on the East Coast, it’s just not so friendly.  Folks in Texas still smile at you for no reason whatsoever when they see you in the store or at the movies.  Heck, they even say “Hello!”, whether they know you or not.  If someone steps in front of you while you’re in the aisle of the grocery store, they say “Excuse me.”  The men are gentlemen, too.  They still hold the door open for women, and say “Yes Ma’am” and “No Ma’am”.

They even drive nicer!  In fact, if you are taking up space in the fast lane and you’re not actually passing a vehicle in the slow lane, they will give you a ticket! People are POLITE.  I didn’t run across a single rude person the whole time I was out there!  So I am very much looking forward to that.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, too, but the Mexican food in Texas is AMAZING.  So is the steak.  The Mexican food out here is okay, but it’s not the Tex-Mex that I grew up with and love.  As far as the steak goes, well, I used to know a guy who wouldn’t order steak unless he was in Texas.  (He was from Chicago, btw).  Now I know why.

And, although I am convinced that North Carolina is one of the most beautiful places on this planet, I can find beauty in Texas, too.  Like the Bluebonnets!  And the Live Oaks.  Bluebonnets and Live Oaks are two of my favorite things. Ever.

But at the same time, I love these Blue Ridge Mountains!  They are warm, and cozy.  I have wrapped them around myself like a favorite quilt.  I love the blazing color in the Fall, and the endless fields of wildflowers in the Spring.  I love the Lightening Bugs and the sweet haze that hangs low over the Summer mountains, and the smell of woodburning stoves drifting through the barren trees of Winter.  I love the woods, the streams and waterfalls. I love my church, our 4-H Club, and our homeschool group.  I love it when Kendall’s friends drop by, even when he’s not here!  I love it when Kendall drops by, too!

I love picking apples in the Fall and making homemade applesauce.  I love how easy it is to grow a garden here, and all the wonderful things I have learned about home canning.  I am still blown away by the fact that strawberries and grapes just grow wild here!  I tried for years to grow strawberries in New Mexico.  Then, we move out here, and they just sprout up out of nowhere!

Yes, there are many things I will miss when we move, and even more people that I will miss. I am trusting in God, and know, without question, that He has the whole thing under control, and that as long as He is in control, everything will be okay.  But even so, this is a bittersweet move, and as exciting as it all is, I know it won’t be easy.

Map of the Colorado Trail

I just wanted to brag a bit on Alex!  He will graduate from our humble homeschool next month, and to celebrate, he is going to fly out to Denver, meet up with a friend and hike the Colorado Trail!  It is 500 miles long, from start to finish (Denver to Durango).  I think it’s absolutely awesome that they are doing this, and wish I had done something adventurous when I was young and free.

His friend, Jess, is my friend Lola’s only child.  They have pretty much known each other all their lives.  Lola,  her sister, Cathy, and I have been friends forever.  Like, um, over thirty years!! So Lola and I are loving that our kids have grown up to be friends, too.

Alex has spent a ton of money already on special feather-weight, ‘moisture-wicking’ clothing.  He also bought a pair of underwear that actually have silver woven into them!  I’m not sure how they do that, but the reason behind it is that silver is an antibacterial, and so it’s supposed to fight against ‘road rash’.  Good plan, considering they will pretty much be wearing the same set of clothes for over a month!!

Lola tells me that there are “drops” along the trail where we can mail stuff to them, if they need it, and where they can make contact with civilization, if they need to or want to.  Jess has done quite a bit of hiking before, and apparently keeps online trail journals.  If Alex decides to do something like that, I will post the link.  Lola ordered a wall map of the CT and mailed it to us, so when they call in at various points during the hike, I can label their location on the map with the date. I think that’s a very cool sort of keepsake.  There are lots of other little details that I’m learning about as we go along.  I’m glad Lola has done this before, so she can keep me up to speed on things.  Alex pretty much just does his own thing, and I have to try and keep up, LOL!

Alex and Jess will be done in plenty of time for Alex to get home in time for his brother’s wedding.  Most importantly, he will be back in plenty of time to take a SHOWER!!

I love blogging.  I intentionally have not put up any ads on it, to make it cleaner and friendlier for my readers.  However, my best

Kendall the Journalist

friends never read this blog. And, if they did, it wouldn’t give them any new information.  I talk to them regularly on the phone or in person.  My extended family, to my knowledge, never reads this blog.  In particular:  my brother and sister and most of the rest of my family do not read this blog.  Nor do they talk to me.  I should mention, however, that my sister does call me on random occasions, and she always seems to know where I live and what my phone number is.  I can only assume that means she still loves me!   On the rare occasions that I call them, the conversation usually starts with them saying something warm and caring, letting me know that I matter to them and they keep a close eye on me.  Something like “Oh, hi!  Where are you?  Do you still live in North Carolina?”  Or “I don’t have your phone number.”  (Please note that I have had the same cell phone number for the last decade, and that for the past two and a half decades I have sent out the obligatory annual newsletter apprising everyone of my address and phone numbers.)

Now, my immediate family does read this blog.  My mom, Gaylon, Kendall, his fiance Lishi and Faith usually read it voluntarily.  Alex reads it if I threaten him.  He has Facebook friends to talk to, after all.  Some of Kendall’s friends read my blog, and I am pretty sure several of my homeschool mom friends read this blog.

I do have a huge, accidental readership, though.  Back in September, when we were preparing for Alex’s “Victorian Themed Birthday Party” I decided to blog about the research I had done on Victorian clothing, and how it differed from Edwardian clothing.  I titled that post “Victoria vs. Edward”.  Well, apparently if you are a Twilight fan, you will spend a lot of time Googling those names and coming to my blog.  I have gotten literally hundreds of “hits” from all over the world from people Googling those names!!  Sorry, guys!  Just a conservative, Catholic homeschool mom here.

But, I digress.  I was discussing why I didn’t send out my customary Christmas newsletter with some sort of year-in-review.  Well, the other reason was that I didn’t have much to say.  One year ago, we really thought we knew exactly where God was leading us, and what we would be doing.  Now, that year has passed, and we only know one thing for sure:  we don’t have a

Alex at the Piano in His Victorian Tux

clue!!  Gaylon is still working in Texas, the rest of us are still living in North Carolina.  Our house has not sold. (Duh)  In fact, we only had ONE couple come to look at it, throughout the entirety of 2009, and that was back in January.  Yes, of course we will try again in 2010.  We have to.  And yes, my mother still lives with us.  We love her, and hope she will stay with us forever.  So, those are the questions we usually get asked.  For the stuff you didn’t know to ask:

Gaylon. . . loves working for Network Plumbing in Merkel, Texas, but of course he misses his family and wishes we could all be
together.  He comes home about every 3 weeks.  (Note:  I think he does a lot more ranching than plumbing, but that’s just my
personal observation!)

Kendall. . . is now a Senior at  University of North Carolina, Asheville.  He is majoring in Journalism.  Last February he became engaged to the beautiful and delightful Alicia Skojec, and they plan to marry next summer (2010).  We are thrilled for them!

Alex. . . is a Senior in High School, and is still homeschooled.  He has not done much acting this year, but has really focused on his piano and guitar, and is excelling at both.  He is very active in his church youth group and is looking forward to going with them to the March For Life in Washington, D.C., next month.

Faith. . .is a domestic goddess in the making!  She won three ribbons at the Western North Carolina State Fair in September.  Two 2nd place ribbons for a denim, appliqued jumper that she sewed, and for a crocheted scarf, and a 3rd place ribbon for a quilt.  We took a couple of quilting classes this Fall, and she is really, really good at quilting. (Me, not so much! LOL) She also got her own sewing machine and has been sewing amazing things.  She is a fantastic cook, as well.  She also taught herself to

Faith Shows Off Her Herbal Preparations

knit and has turned out some really pretty knitted scarves and pillows. We have been studying herbal remedies this year, and Faith has done a lot of work wildcrafting and preparing her own herbal remedies.  She is in 7th grade this year, and is still homeschooled.  She loves to read, especially Fantasy and Sci-Fi.  Her brothers have been happy to loan her all of their books.

Valarie. . . still loves “documenting the dead” (Genealogy) and homeschooling. I am also still working on some writing projects, that I might actually carve time out for this new year.  I am forever trying to lose weight, and nope, it’s not working.  But alas, I shall start anew in a couple of days with (hopefully) renewed vigor and commitment!

So, there is our year in review.  It has blessedly passed by quickly, and we are praying very hard that this year, our house will sell, and we will get to all be together again.  Because, even though we could have sent out a newsletter bragging on our kids in depth, the truth is that this has been a very difficult year, and we really are glad it’s over.  In fact, it’s been, overall, a pretty rotten decade.  We are praying a LOT that the next year/decade will be infinitely better. We appreciate any prayers on our behalf, and please know that we pray for our friends and family regularly, whether we hear from you, or not.

Happy 2010!!

We are headed out in a couple of hours to our friend, Tiffany Galozzi’s home, where we are going to enjoy her wonderful cooking and hospitality. Woo Hoo! Then, tomorrow, we start decorating the house for Christmas, and finish the day up at the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert down in Greenville.

The funeral Mass was held Thursday evening, and it was packed.  I realized, for the first time, how comforting traditions are, and how much I need them.  The Mass is always the Mass.  Whether it’s the 12th Sunday in Ordinary Time, a Wedding, a Funeral, or a Solemnity, the tenets of the Mass are always the same, all over the world.  We know what to expect, and only the readings, responsorial psalms and songs change, to fit the occasion.  The homily will be appropriate, and we will receive Holy Communion to give us all strength and courage.  I think, especially at a time of death, when things are so surreal and unexpected, the soothing traditions of the Church are more meaningful than ever.  I have come to view Mass as God’s security blanket that we can wrap around ourselves.

Afterward we went out to dinner with several friends and our priest.  It was a good time of healing and relaxation.  And it was in reflecting on the funeral and dinner after that it occurred to me, again, that death is not at all about the deceased.  It is all about those of us left behind.  We hug each other and reassure each other that everything is going to be okay, that the rest of us are still here, and that life will go on.  It is one of the rare times that even stoic men will hug one another and publicly display their support and affection.

So, while I hate funerals and receiving lines, I have come to understand why we do those things.  When I was younger it all seemed so pointless to me, and so incredibly macabre.  But the older I get, the more I start to see past my own selfishness and understand the needs of others.

I hate that this sweet young man is gone.  I grieve for his family, who is still reeling from shock and disbelief and unspeakable loss. I grieve for those who stood on the shoreline but didn’t understand that he was ‘not waving but drowning’ until it was too late.  God rest his soul!

And I am so proud of my friend, Celena, and all the choices she has made as a mother. She had a homebirth (and is going to bring the video for me to watch this weekend! Yay!) and she is still breastfeeding.  She has also chosen not to vaccinate her little girl.  I loved watching her with her daughter, too.  She is such an awesome mom! She and her baby renewed my hope in the world, and cheered me up tremendously.  Yeah, happiness really does come in small packages!!

The problem is, my brain goes in too many directions at once, all the time.  And I can’t even blame the children for that, I’ve always been this way!  For example, last week, I wanted to blog about so many things that I wound up not blogging about anything.  For example, I had a really great blog post floating around in my head entitled “Dude!  Where’s My Plane?” about Obama pretending he didn’t know that someone took AF-1 and did a low flyover of NYC, terrifying the people of Manhattan and causing them to evacuate buildings and have major PTSD flashbacks of 9/11!!  All for a “Photo Op”????  I hope Obama is smarter than that, but at the same time, that would simply mean that he really is that sinister, to intentionally terrify his own people like that.  (Good thing he didn’t try a stunt like that over Dallas or Houston!)

Or I could talk about homeschooling.  About Faith, and how she’s been so busy lately digging up herbs in our yard and woods, and drying them, chopping them and making herbal remedies!  Our kitchen smells kinda funny from time to time, but I am so proud of her! Or about Alex, and how he did so well in school this year, and how funny he was co-hosting the HCHA Talent Show last week (see pictures all over Facebook!!), or about how Kendall is finishing up his first year at UNC-A, and how much he is enjoying studying Journalism, and how cute he is running around with a digital microphone and interviewing everyone he can.  I could say that Gaylon is still in Texas, and that we’re still in North Carolina, and it still stinks!  Our house hasn’t sold yet (duh.) and we are going to move to Texas at the end of the summer anyway, to be with him and get the kids plugged in.

Then I thought about how I’d like to discuss how well my genealogy research has gone lately, and how much I have enjoyed getting in contact with cousins I didn’t even know about down in Central Texas on the Adams side.  We’ve exchanged pictures and information and it’s just been incredible! And did I mention I’m building a website just for genealogy?   That way I can not only separate my genealogy from my political and religious views, but I can keep from boring to death the few readers I have who are not related to me!

And then there is my Catholic Faith, which I am usually pretty low-key about, because I have so many friends who are not only Protestant, but have been taught that Catholics are not Christians, and must be ’saved’!!  My Jewish friends are much more understanding of me being Catholic, probably because of that whole persecution thing.  But I absolutely LOVE being Catholic, and there are so many things I could ‘blog’ about, that might help people understand our faith, our beliefs, our Christianity.  That would probably be best in a separate site, as well.

So, what to do?  What to blog about??  It’s not like there are all these people reading my blog, and hanging on the edge of their chairs waiting for my next post!  Most of my close friends don’t read my blog at all, and of my family, I think only Gaylon, Kendall, Mom and occasionally Faith read it.  And of course, Lishi, (Kendall’s fiance) who is one of the only people who ever leaves me a comment. (And of course, Laura R. and Laura S.!!  I love my Lauras. . .)  I know there are a few folks scattered across the country who read it, but they never comment.  I tried a Poll once, and only a few folks participated in that, so perhaps the bottom line is this:  I blog for me.  If someone doesn’t like what I have to say, they certainly don’t have to read it.  Lishi’s brother, Steve Skojec, always has really great taglines for his blog, like “Cogito, Ergo Blog” (I think that was it. . . . I don’t remember exactly, and now he’s changed it) or his current one “You Didn’t Ask, But I’ll Tell You Anyway”.  Okay, that one really fits my situation, as well. LOL.  I’ve never met Steve, but I love his blog!

So, yeah.  My blog will probably continue to be a collection of randomness, and my title, “Chasing Thoughts” is probably very appropriate.  Maybe someday I will actually be able to focus on one thing for a great length of time.  But then, I will finish writing those books I’ve started, and not worry about blogging!