It’s probably redundant to say this, but for any of you who may not know:  my oldest son, Kendall, is getting married in August.  Which puts me in the strange new realm of being the “Mother of the Groom”.  And, as such, I will need a dress.

So, I Googled “Plus Size Formal Wear”, which provided me with an endless selection of

Stevie Nicks: My kind of "Formal"!

dresses to choose from.  Most of which I absolutely cannot afford.  It is amazing to me that when they know you’ve already had to sell a kidney or two in order to afford an event, they still have the gall to gouge you just a little bit more.  (Was it *me* that told them they’d better not elope?? What was I thinking???) And these are dresses that, while I admit are lovely, they just aren’t “me”.  I think they would look fantastic on somebody who was some sort of heiress or something.  But not on me.

I am not a ‘formal’ sort of person.  In fact, I am not even remotely a ‘tailored’ sort of person.  If I could raid anyone’s closet (assuming I was thin enough, of course) it would be Stevie Nicks’.  I love her “Hippie Mystic” style! But, alas, they probably don’t even sell those sorts of clothes anymore, and if they do, I sure don’t know where to find them.  Well, maybe somewhere in Asheville.  But I think I’ll have to forego the platform boots in favor of a new pair of Birkenstocks!  I’m a little too old (and some might even say unbalanced!) to even attempt to wear platforms ever again. 😉

But there is some good news in the formal fashion world. The “Tattoo Cover Kit”. When I was married, 23 years ago, I guess nobody had tattoos.  At least not anybody who would buy a

Tattoo Cover Kit

formal gown for the occasion.  But apparently, today, there is quite the market for covering tattoos!  I’m not exactly sure, though, why someone would spend all that money for a tattoo, then spend more money to cover it up.  Personally, I love my butterfly tattoo on my back left shoulder blade.  My niece did it for me, and it’s lovely.  I have no intention of covering it up!  Hmmm.  I may have to keep that in mind as I shop for my “mother-of-the-groom” dress.

At any rate, I am glad I’ve started looking around now.  I have three months to find the perfect dress.  It’s probably not nearly enough time, but I will work with what I’ve got.  After all, the really happy news is that all I have to do is attend the wedding.  I don’t have to be a bridesmaid!!

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